We’ve all experienced it: loving someone so much that we can see exactly what would make their life better—if only they’d change.

But here are three painful truths to ask yourself:

1. If someone has to change for you to be with them, Do you really accept them for who they are now? Is it for the potential of who you hope they’d become? Why do YOU need to fix, save? What’s your deeper why?

2. Would you do the hard work to change just because someone asked you to? Would you instead shrink yourself to please or would you deflect and stonewall them - all to eventually resent, but unchanged- until you were ready?

3. When you change for the better and feel that lightness, can you offer compassion to those who aren’t there yet? Remember: you didn’t know what you didn’t know — until you did.

Real change must be chosen.
All you can do is offer support — when it’s asked for.
Isn’t that freeing?

PS: Remember newer versions of you can outgrow past relationships … so give yourself permission to leave or people to fall off or set healthy boundaries.

3 Gentle Ways to Lightly Surrender:

🤍 Google the drama triangle and thank us later.

🤍 Use Making the Invisible, Visible, for 5 mins a day, as a tool to explore your own sabotaging patterns, change your mental schema to cultivate inner peace, to build a mindset to have the courage to accept / change your life to serve you. (Bonus: it makes a powerful gift for someone who is ready to see themselves.)

🤍 Affirm to self. Love does not have to be performative, earned. You are love. 

“The greatest superpower is the ability to change yourself”

Gift yourself a gift that shall keep giving!

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